What is the Gottman Method?
Different types of counseling techniques, approaches different methods for a thorough assessment of the relationship, to find the best-suited solution the process to rebuild a bond.
There are various approaches of counseling, such as narrative therapy, emotionally focused couples therapy, positive psychology etcetera, that works for different couples based upon the kind of help they require.
Out of all these, the Gottman method is considered to be most effective, for the majority of the couples, providing the best results to all those seeking help.
The Gottman technique
The main goal of this method is to increase closeness and to build friendly behavior between both the individuals, focusing on removing the four major reasons for a relationship breakdown.
According to the Gottman method, the ‘Four Horsemen’, representing problems are:
- Defensiveness, an act to justify one’s deed at all cost, refusing to learn to accept
- Criticizing partner’s smallest of habits and refusing to discover the beauty of differences
- Stonewalling, refusing to interact because the easy way out of communicating is to shut out.
- Contempt or losing respect for the partner or own self
It encourages the idea of resolving conflicts in a peaceful environment and working on to build a bond with shared meaning and love.
The principle basis of Gottman method
It revolves around customizable principles that are based on a particular pattern of behavior of couples. The seven principles of working are:
- Build love maps: Being aware and understanding of a partner’s world.
- Express fondness and admiration: Appreciating and enjoying each other’s company
- Turn towards one another: developing conversational patterns of interest and mutual respect
- Accept influence
- Solve solvable problems
- Manage conflicts and overcome gridlock: one can’t merely end conflicts, but can maintain healthy arguments and disagreements
- Create shared meaning: it is essential to build connection and recognize ways in which partner enriches their lives.
Overall the use of the Gottman method is not only helping manage conflicts but also pinpoints the toxic behavior trait of the individuals, making it the most effective way to deal indifferences.